Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A Tutorial

How to take care of Baby B and The Twin who are EXACTLY THE SAME AGE.
Okay, one of them is 15 days older than the other one.

A. Feed them bananas and cereal for breakfast.
B. Give them bubbly baths.
C. Lotion them to high-heaven and then dress them in matching shirts.
D. Decide the floors are filthy and they must be swept and mopped.
E. Put Baby B and The Twin in the playroom with the baby gate in place.
F. Go about sweeping and mopping every room in the house.
G. Marvel, for the first 5 minutes, how well everyone is playing.
H. At the 6 minute mark, hear whining.
I.  At the 8 minute mark, full-on crying.
J. Continue to sweep and mop furiously.  I. Will. Accomplish. This.
K. At 11 minutes, desperate screaming at the gate.
L. Screaming continues for minutes 12-18. But I am SOCLOSE!
M. Somewhere around minute 19 1/2, total silence. Ha!
N. Finish up the last bit of mopping, and saunter victoriously to the gate.
O. Find Baby B and The Twin completely knocked out.
P. Giggle uncontrollably while calling for everyone to come and look.
Q. Continue giggling while taking pictures. Baby B is sitting up you guys.
R. Instantly realize that it is only mid-morning and NOT naptime.
S. Decide if I want to 1) wake them up and suffer, or 2) not wake them up and suffer later.
T. Cry a little.

The End. 

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